Can you just not?
Jun. 15th, 2015 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
actuallyclintbartonHey guys, I live! FYI. no real reason i haven't been here aside from... well idk failing at these things i guess.
i used to be so good at keeping up with my LJ, back in the day. what happened?
anyway so today the girl who comes by to help us with cleaning is coming over to help us unpack some of the boxes that are still packed up. This would be fine, except that it was basically forced upon us - as in, it wasn't "she offered and we said yes" or "we asked" it was "the people who send her p much INFORMED ME that this was happening and I didn't have a choice in it.
Not to mention that they gave me a copy of the email, sent by someone I don't even KNOW who they are, that literally said "they MUST unpack, it is unacceptable for them to be living out of boxes in their own home" and that's pissing me off for a number of reasons, NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH is the fact that this isn't actually our home. It's theirs, they are allowing us to live in it. And that could change at any point in time. I don't think it will, but the fact is that it COULD, and since this has happened to us before (us having to get out of a place we intended to live in for at least a couple of years on very short notice) TWICE IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, I think I'm justified in not being comfortable with the idea that because it's where we're living it means that it'll be where we're living a month from now.
Not only that but a large part of the reason we're not unpacked? Is because I get legitimately anxious at the idea of unpacking everything. Actually physically sick to my stomach anxious. Why? Because the task of packing up a house - especially if you have to do it on short notice - on top of everything else that has to happen when you move is so horribly daunting. If even PART of the house is still packed up, or at least easily moved to a less-damaged box, then that's a little bit of stress relieved.
I mean yeah should we get unpacked fully? Yes. It will be nice. But it isn't hurting anyone that it's not done.
Not to mention now I have to accept without my consent the fact that there is going to be an outsider touching our things. Going through them. DECIDING where they go. I mean, for as much as there's room for anyway, we're still waiting on more storage options, but the point is FUCK THAT NOISE.
LOOK I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE SOME REQUIREMENTS OF US BUT WE HAVE BEEN COOPERATIVE AND ACQUIESCING FOR ALMOST A YEAR and I just want to text them right now and be like NO I CANNOT DO THIS I WILL SIT HERE AND UNPACK A COUPLE OF BOXES AND TAKE PICTURES OF THE BEFORE AND AFTER IF YOU WANT, BUT I AM REALLY REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS.
*grumble* not to mention i feel like i'm going to be more anxious for a while after some of the boxes get cleared out specifically because they're not packed up anymore, and my therapist is in France for two weeks.
ETA NOW WITH ACTUAL PAGE BREAKS AND SHIT WTF DREAMWIDTH
i used to be so good at keeping up with my LJ, back in the day. what happened?
anyway so today the girl who comes by to help us with cleaning is coming over to help us unpack some of the boxes that are still packed up. This would be fine, except that it was basically forced upon us - as in, it wasn't "she offered and we said yes" or "we asked" it was "the people who send her p much INFORMED ME that this was happening and I didn't have a choice in it.
Not to mention that they gave me a copy of the email, sent by someone I don't even KNOW who they are, that literally said "they MUST unpack, it is unacceptable for them to be living out of boxes in their own home" and that's pissing me off for a number of reasons, NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH is the fact that this isn't actually our home. It's theirs, they are allowing us to live in it. And that could change at any point in time. I don't think it will, but the fact is that it COULD, and since this has happened to us before (us having to get out of a place we intended to live in for at least a couple of years on very short notice) TWICE IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, I think I'm justified in not being comfortable with the idea that because it's where we're living it means that it'll be where we're living a month from now.
Not only that but a large part of the reason we're not unpacked? Is because I get legitimately anxious at the idea of unpacking everything. Actually physically sick to my stomach anxious. Why? Because the task of packing up a house - especially if you have to do it on short notice - on top of everything else that has to happen when you move is so horribly daunting. If even PART of the house is still packed up, or at least easily moved to a less-damaged box, then that's a little bit of stress relieved.
I mean yeah should we get unpacked fully? Yes. It will be nice. But it isn't hurting anyone that it's not done.
Not to mention now I have to accept without my consent the fact that there is going to be an outsider touching our things. Going through them. DECIDING where they go. I mean, for as much as there's room for anyway, we're still waiting on more storage options, but the point is FUCK THAT NOISE.
LOOK I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE SOME REQUIREMENTS OF US BUT WE HAVE BEEN COOPERATIVE AND ACQUIESCING FOR ALMOST A YEAR and I just want to text them right now and be like NO I CANNOT DO THIS I WILL SIT HERE AND UNPACK A COUPLE OF BOXES AND TAKE PICTURES OF THE BEFORE AND AFTER IF YOU WANT, BUT I AM REALLY REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS.
*grumble* not to mention i feel like i'm going to be more anxious for a while after some of the boxes get cleared out specifically because they're not packed up anymore, and my therapist is in France for two weeks.
ETA NOW WITH ACTUAL PAGE BREAKS AND SHIT WTF DREAMWIDTH
no subject
Date: 2015-06-15 08:51 pm (UTC)We may be having to vacate our apartment very soon sans Yuro ._.
EDIT: "i am a hurricane of hidden neuroses" would make a great hit single on the album "wired without a manual."
no subject
Date: 2015-06-15 09:34 pm (UTC)And what have they still done pretty much NOTHING about almost a year later? DING DING DING, those three things, even though I try to bring them up pretty damn often. it's just SO FRUSTRATING.
ugh that sucks i'm sorry. :c I hope you don't?
(and hahah oh man seriously. wired without a manual, if nothing else, would be great for an album about dealing with mental illness and trauma and shit.)
no subject
Date: 2015-06-15 09:52 pm (UTC)I don't know what else to say, except that we're really sorry about all this and you can have all the hugs if you like.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-15 10:47 pm (UTC)Or, well, as easy as I can as I remove boxes from the house. But still.